Posts Tagged ‘virus’

For over two weeks now I’ve been dealing with what has turned out to be an annual event in my life these last few years: the winter bout of bronchitis. And I don’t mean a little sniffle, sniffle, cough, cough bronchitis. I mean rip-roaring, hack-your-lungs-out-like-a-medieval-plague-victim, pee-your-pants-because-you’re-coughing-so-hard bronchitis. Combined with a low grade fever, sinus infection, body aches, sore muscles and all the other fun stuff that goes along with something like this, it has made for a miserable couple of weeks. I’m just now getting to where I can move around the house without feeling I’d been sucked dry by the local power station. And that’s why I haven’t done jack shit since the beginning of the month.

I had made a promise to myself that I would do a blog entry at least once a week, as an exercise to work on my writing chops (pick a topic, write a blog), as a break from the dark, cold world of my novel and partly as therapy session. (Given that, finances being what they are(n’t), I’m not having real therapy sessions right now, you may get stuck with even more of my mad ramblings, so consider yourselves warned.) But spending your days with aching ribs because you’re coughing so much, and fever turning your brain into mush isn’t really conducive to doing much of anything but sitting on the couch moaning about your terrible state. It’s amazing how weak we humans can be.

There was a time in my life when I would set a goal for myself and nothing would stop me from reaching it. When I was doing music competitions in school, I would practice up to six hours a day, sometimes just on one section of music to get it just right. Kept playing through cramped hands, aching lungs and bleeding lips (try being an oboe player with braces…). I’ve stayed up for 72 hours straight to finish a project for college, or role play at a gaming convention. Gone without food, sleep, showers, whatever it took to reach the desired goal.

But one little virus can knock me on my ass and leave me whimpering for my mommy, with no hope of accomplishing anything for the duration. Where in hell did all that will power go???

On the up side, this bout didn’t last as long as some past ones have, plus I didn’t have to sleep sitting up in the Barcalounger as I’ve had to in the past. It didn’t seem to be as bad as some of the other times, either, so I didn’t do the antibiotics in the hopes of building my immune system for the next bout. Didn’t have these sorts of problems until I moved to Southern California. (grumble, bitch, moan). Yet another reason it’s not one of my favorite places.

So in looking back over the last couple weeks, I have been trying to figure out just what the hell my problem was. During most of the years of my adult life I had to leave the house and go to an office and spend the day with a group of less-than-enthusiastic co-workers, often feeling much worse than what the last two weeks brought me. I got up, I showered, I dressed, did the hair, the make-up, put on the power suit, suffered the morning commute, sneezed a greeting to the receptionist and proceeded to do all the other things required of me by the people who claimed to be superior to me. It was miserable, but I did it. Now, when I’m supposedly getting to do exactly what I really want to do, I get sick and sit like a lump on the couch in my bath robe and slippers, sipping Gypsy Cold Care Tea and watching M*A*S*H re-runs. When I was awake, that is. Ain’t life grand?

But, at the same time, maybe all that sleeping and sitting and being a couch potato is the main reason I’m up and (relatively) coherent after just two weeks, instead of six like the last few bouts. Perhaps I really did myself a favor, and have therefore missed the Bhutan Death March and a misery of re-writes on all the drivel my feverish mind would have concocted during that lengthy struggle. There’s a reason you get sick days at work and why your body just wants to sleep when you’re running a fever. So I really did myself, and my readers, a favor. Right?

Yeah… That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

© 2010 Cheri K. Endsley. All Rights Reserved.

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