Life is nothing but a never-ending series of choices. Every choice has its consequences, both good and bad. Every choice has an easy way, and a hard way. Most of us spend our time trying to figure out which choices are going to give us the best results, for the least amount of bullshit. It’s never exactly what we want, but that’s life, and it’s certainly better than the alternative.
Some of us dare the Fates and take the hard choice, the choice that’s fraught with uncertainty but gets us another step closer to our ultimate goal, to the place/career/love we want more than anything else. Most people who take those steps fail. Some stop right there. Some keep trying. Every now and then someone succeeds. And that’s how we get our great artists, our star athletes, our world leaders.
My husband and I were talking this weekend about the rut we’re in. Every day is pretty much the same: work, dinner, computer, sleep. Rinse and repeat, ad nauseam. We both claim to want to do something different with our lives. I want to do the full-time writing thing. He wants to do the full-time blacksmith thing. We want to work for ourselves and get out of Southern California and get some property somewhere in the trees of the Pacific Northwest.
But apparently we don’t want those things bad enough to actually do anything to get there. We spent some time trying to figure out why that is, why we keep talking about these desires and yet doing nothing to advance toward them. The conclusion we came to is that we’re safe right where we are, and change is scary.
We have the epitome of a First World problem. We have a nice two-story house in the suburbs. It may need some significant cosmetic work, but it has a solid foundation and a good roof and everything works the way it’s supposed to. We have a regular income that allows us to eat decently, keep the lights on and the water running, and feeds the beast that gets my husband back and forth to work. We don’t usually have anything leftover at the end of the month, but our basics are covered, and we can make adjustments for the rest. We have a nice routine and few surprises. Quiet and safe in our little corner of the world.
And yet we are dissatisfied. It is a common dilemma, I know. Most people get to a point in their lives where it is no longer possible to reach their dream, and so they quietly plod through their existence and make the best of what they have. Some can achieve a certain measure of contentment, despite themselves. They never actually forget their dream – it still makes for a good fantasy every now and then – but they’ve accepted that it will never come to pass.
But my husband and I can actually still achieve what we want. We have the skills. We have the desire. What we don’t have is the courage.
You see, leaving your nice, quiet, safe little rut takes a huge amount of bravery. You don’t know what’s out there. Will there be monsters waiting? Will your family understand? Will you suddenly learn it’s not REALLY what you wanted? Worse yet, what happens if you FAIL?
Safe is easy. Risk is scary. Status quo is good. Change is bad. From childhood we’ve been encouraged to take the safe route. Follow the rules and play nice with others and do what society expects of you, and life will be fine. Want to be an actor/writer/musician? Okay, but get that degree in accounting/engineering/law, just in case. Always work with a net, because that’s safe.
But sometimes you just can’t be totally safe. To advance, you have to take chances. You have to test your boundaries and abilities and hope you can come out the other side. Explorers and scientists and artists throughout history have often put their own lives on the line to make the breakthroughs we all now take for granted. What if Magellan had never set sail? What if Curie had never gone into science? Both of them died as a direct result of their works, but they would have eventually died anyway had they stayed safe in their little ruts. By taking risks, they each gave the world invaluable legacies.
I doubt there are those kinds of legacies waiting for my husband and I. But we can certainly change the way things are now to make things the way we want. While there are obvious logistics issues, there’s nothing we can’t handle, as daunting as some of the tasks may seem. Hell, there’s a part of me that would be happy to just stuff everything we own into storage, sign the house back to the bank, pack the truck with the cats and other essentials, and just go see what we can find. We wouldn’t be the first to make such a bold change, and it would certainly yank us right out of our rut by the hair. It would be terrifying, but sometimes that’s just what you need.
Because if you wait for everything to be perfectly planned and the timing to be just right before you start your journey, you might as well never pack your bags. The circumstances will never be perfect. NEVER. Which is exactly when you’ll reach your goal if you don’t take a chance.
Musings of a Madwoman 